So Now What?

My greatest idea to date

The Olympics are finally over and I’m mostly upset about that, however the part of me requiring sleep is ecstatic. At least Australia found a modicum of respectability in terms of the medal tally towards the end, however let’s not hide the fact that seven gold medals is nowhere near our recent Olympic results and lower than what was reasonably expected.

Now the questions will begin around government funding and all sorts of other blame game tactics. I do hope some sort of review takes place that can get Australia back on track in elite sport, both through increased spending, but also more efficient use of current spending. Anyway, I can’t pretend to know exactly how to fix these issues outside of throwing money at it, so I’ll mostly leave that to the real experts on it.

Much more important than that is how I would improve the Olympics overall. Yes I know the Olympics are awesome, but there are some events I would get rid of and a few I would bring in. I’d love to get your thoughts on what you would change about the Olympics too in the comments.

Firstly what I would get rid of:

Dressage – If you aren’t sure what dressage is, I’ll tell you in two words. Horse dancing. Basically, it is one of the three equestrian events and whilst the other two events are fine, show jumping and cross country, the dressage is something I just cannot support being in the games, no matter how traditional it is. I have a bit of an issue with judged sports in general, but at least some of them make some sense and have their place in the games, but I don’t want human dancing in the Olympics let alone a human getting a horse to do it. Maybe if someone gets the horse to stand up and do a moonwalk or line dance we can talk, but until then, there is no way in my mind this “sport” belongs in the Games. Besides, the horse is the one dancing so they should be the ones getting the medal.

Synchronised Swimming and Rhythmic Gymnastics – I’m grouping these two together as I have similar issues with them. Whilst both events are admirable as entertaining feats and require skills and athleticism and such, they are performance art more than they are sport. At least in artistic gymnastics and diving you are required to perform specific dives which can then be compared to everyone else’s. In rhythmic gymnastics you basically do whatever routine you want with the ball or hoop and then the judges vote like it’s a Rock Eisteddfod. Again, if you are buying tickets to a Cirque du Soleil then it’s fine, but this is the Olympics and they don’t belong. Hell, the individual synchronised swimming isn’t even synchronised because there is only one person.

Race Walking – OK so this one is at least a race and in some ways is similar to the marathon. Also, to prove there is no bias towards keeping events Australia are good at, we are most certainly good at this one (actually we go alright in dressage too). But I have never been able to see the point of a sport where you are racing but only if you are walking and you are penalised as soon as you accidentally break into a jog for even one step. Fans of the sport might say it’s like how swimming doesn’t just have freestyle but also slower strokes like breaststroke, however to me it’s like having a swimming race for doggy paddle. I’m very happy for Jared Tallent winning silver and yet another Olympic medal, but if I had my way the sport wouldn’t be there in the first place.

On The Bubble – There are a few sports which in this hypothetical I am not yet getting rid of, however they are ones that I certainly thought about removing. Tennis for example, whilst obviously a real sport, I have issues with it in the Olympics because the athletes often don’t consider it to be that important compared to the Grand Slams. Modern Pentathlon is a weird event but kind of cool, however very few countries take it seriously anymore and thus there is talk it’s being removed in real life. Although I’d be fascinated in knowing how one becomes interested in becoming a pentathlete, as it’s such a bizarre combination of sports now that we don’t fight wars like it is 1896.

What I would bring in:

Jousting – Yes you read that correctly. The first sport I would bring into the Olympics is jousting, like a modern day version of that Heath Ledger movie. Yes, it does still exist as a sport and has even been covered by ESPN. Also you cannot possibly sit there reading this and not be thinking that you would watch every single minute of Olympic jousting. I honestly see no downside to this, as they already have these tournaments but just not at Olympic level. Let’s get these awesome humans into the biggest sporting event in the World please.

Mixed Martial Arts – This one would be difficult to actually get done as I’m sure the professional associations like the UFC would not let their contracted fighters risk injury in a two week tournament that wasn’t even part of their company. Also many top fighters might not be willing to risk the injury either. Thus this might have to be done as an amateur sport in the same way boxing is. I admit that takes much of the fun out of it, but I still like the idea of it in the Olympics.

We already have judo, tae kwon do and wrestling in the Olympics and they are all elements of MMA, however actually putting people from different backgrounds and really seeing who the best all-round fighter is at each weight division makes sense to me. With how MMA has begun to overtake boxing as the biggest fight sport in the world already, I think it’s time it gets to be showcased at the Olympics. It also allows people from other fighting backgrounds to compete in the Olympics, such as jiu-jitsu or Muay Thai practitioners. If the pros were allowed to compete, it would also create the opportunity for fights we can’t see due to promotional conflicts actually occur. Examples of this would be Gilbert Melendez (Strikeforce champion) vs. Benson Henderson (UFC champion) in the lightweight division or Daniel Cormier (Strikeforce) vs. Junior Dos Santos (UFC) in the heavyweights.

Motor Sport – OK this is one idea that I haven’t quite been able to flesh out properly yet. Motor Sports are some of the biggest in the world and many countries take them very seriously and thus I feel like there is a place for at least one of them in the Olympics. However, I also see numerous problems actually making this happen. Partly in terms of deciding which sport to put in but mostly in terms of making it work at an amateur event. Motor Sport is usually about funding and building the best car/bike, not just having the best driver/rider. At the Olympics it would have to be the same equipment across the board. The A1 Grand Prix did try and pull this off outside of the Olympics, but something about that event didn’t do much for me and then it died. We might have to come back to this one another time.

I’d also consider bringing in one of the following sports which are often considered games more than they are legitimate sports: Ten pin bowling, darts, pool or snooker and finally poker*. I definitely wouldn’t bring them all in, but I honestly think given how big all these sports are and the fact they all have international TV coverage, you can make a legitimate case that they have as much right to be in the Games as table tennis does. So I feel like they should all get a chance to pitch to the IOC, with one of them getting in for Rio. I just wish they’d bring in air hockey, as I’d finally have a chance to represent my country.

*Obviously there wouldn’t be real money at stake in poker; everyone who qualified would be given the same amount of chips in a non-cash tournament. It may however lead to people playing overly aggressive and hoping for the best as they have less to lose.

OK so this article is getting way too long and I’ve given you my ideas, now I want to hear yours.