Are You Ok? (Part 2)

In honour of it being both R U OK? Day today and World Suicide Prevention Day earlier this week I thought it was appropriate for me to write a follow up to the piece about mental health I wrote a few weeks back. That article ended up being read by many more people than I ever could have hoped for and I still am getting people talking to me about it.

I wrote that article on the spur of the moment and really just hoped it got through to one person and maybe did a little bit a of good, but it’s been probably the most heart warming and overwhelming experience of my life since writing that one little article. I’d just like to thank everyone who shared it and passed it on to others in the hopes of getting that message out there.

I was also really glad to see that mental health has been getting a lot of publicity lately. Not just with famous cases like what has been happening with Charlotte Dawson, but also a story on the 7:30 Report on ABC as well as this week’s 4 Corners episode. Shows like that can really do a lot to get things into the public eye and I hope more people are thinking about mental health as a large issue in society because of it.

With it being R U OK? Day today, I really do hope you take the time out of your day to ask people if they are OK. I personally had a session with my psychologist this morning and she was telling me that asking people is important, but also, as much as it can be awkward, if you are legitimately worried about that person you have to be specific and ask if they have had any suicidal thoughts. It’s a very difficult question to ask and people often worry that they are going to put those thoughts into the head of the person they are asking, but all research shows that you need to ask those questions specifically and that you certainly won’t be putting thoughts in their head. Hopefully they will answer by telling you it’s silly and they have never thought about it, but sometimes you might be surprised by what the answer is.

Also of equal importance, whilst asking someone today is a great start, let’s not make this a once a year thing. Today is supposed to be a catalyst to ask people regularly and give people the avenue to talk. In fact, asking someone if they ok often won’t be answered that day. They will often tell you they are fine, but eventually when they are ready to talk, they will come to you because you are the person who asked previously.

Today is a great initiative and I hope you all get behind it. So to all those who are reading, I ask you....

Are you OK?

Are You OK?

Depression can hit us all

I know this is a sports blog and normally the topic I write about is something that whilst we consider it important as sports fans, at the end of the day they really are just games. Now of course the results of our favourite sports teams impact our mood and even can impact the mood of an entire community, city or country and thus can become quite important beyond just the game. At the end of the day however, sport, along with the arts, is something that is supposed to enrich our lives without being the be all and end all. It’s the cherry on top of the sundae rather than the sundae itself.

I write this today after another famous person took their own life in film director Tony Scott. It has nothing to do with sport but it’s a topic that is very close to my heart and I felt compelled to write about it. I also really hope you not only read this, but also pass it on to others to read and not just so I can get my reader stats up, but because this one is important.

To people I meet in the real world, I make no secret of my own battles with mental health issues, namely depression, anxiety and mild OCD. It’s something that I knew I had for many years, but only at rock bottom did I admit it to my family and finally seek the help I should have been getting since I was around 14. The reason it took so long for me to reach out and admit I had a problem was because I, like many other people out there (especially men), felt like I was simply being weak and that these sorts of things are just part of life we all deal with and to man up and get over it.

Because we can’t read the minds and feelings of everyone else, we don’t actually know that the way we feel is not how we are supposed to feel. There is no “control group” to compare ourselves to because we only know what we feel. But then, even once we realise that perhaps we have a problem, too many of us don’t give mental health the respect it deserves compared to more physical illnesses.

The idea that we just need to “toughen up and get on with it” is still very prevalent in society, even with the increased understanding we have of the seriousness of mental illness. But the key word in the previous sentence is the word illness... as it’s exactly what it is. When we are sick, we go to the doctor and no one ever questions that, but when someone feels mentally ill there is still a stigma around seeing a doctor for that. This is a huge problem. Mental illness is not only a legitimate medical condition, but it’s also one that is very difficult to cure and can take years to fix, or even manage.

I personally am still on a journey to improve my own condition, but I am thankfully in a much better place than I was when I first sought help. Unfortunately, there are too many people still stuck where I was years ago, trapped inside their own mind and too afraid or ashamed to get the help required.

It’s amazing how many people open up to me and admit their own mental health issues once I share mine first. There are so many people out there desperate to talk to someone, even if it’s just to get something off their chest, but they won’t do it without some help first.

I am so lucky I never quite got to the place where I actually attempted suicide, but I admit I certainly was close to that point. I am also lucky to have an amazing family and group of friends who have supported me through my own battles and journey. Many people aren’t as fortunate as I am in terms of their support system and also financially to get the help required. But that doesn’t mean they can’t get help or improve their situation. Sometimes all it takes really is asking if someone is ok.

So please, if you yourself are struggling with mental health issues or you think you know someone who might be, take a step in the right direction, even if it’s a baby step. Ask someone for help/ask if they are ok.

There are some great initiatives out there like R U Ok?Day and all the great things beyondblue do. There are others as well. But it still comes back to us to improve ourselves and improve the way society views these things.

I hope it won’t be long before the stigma around mental illness is gone forever, but until then all I can do is my best to get the message out there and talk to anyone I can who needs me.

If you would like to contact me personally and are not a Facebook friend/don’t have my number, you can email me at danielcousens@gmail.com.

Take care out there. I hope you’re ok.